The Retirement Plan -Dumpster Fire
"The Retirement Plan," starring Nicolas Cage, is a movie that struggles to find its footing and ultimately leaves viewers scratching their heads. The plot is paper-thin and feels like a hasty patchwork of tired action movie clichés. It's a film that can't decide if it wants to be a comedy or a serious action flick, resulting in a jarring and unsatisfying viewing experience.
One of the most glaring issues is the clunky and forced dialogue that plagues the entire film. Characters exchange lines that often feel unnatural and awkward, making it challenging to take the movie seriously. As for the characters themselves, there's a complete lack of emotional attachment. Nicolas Cage plays a 70-year-old retired government assassin, a concept that's never fully explored or explained. The audience is left in the dark about his character's background, which makes it difficult to invest in his journey.
Ron Perlman's portrayal of a "bad guy with a heart of gold" is equally perplexing. His character's motivations are unclear, and his interactions with Nicolas Cage's character make little sense. Referring to Nicolas Cage as a "very, very old man" only adds to the confusion and comes off as lazy writing.
The film's attempts to be complex and cerebral fall flat on their face. Instead of adding depth, they only serve to muddle the already convoluted plot. The action sequences are plagued by terrible effects that wouldn't be out of place in a low-budget B movie. The scene where Nic Cage miraculously flies through the air to catch a gun thrown by his granddaughter is particularly cringe-worthy.
Furthermore, the movie's never-ending hierarchy of bad guys becomes tiresome quickly. Each boss has another big bad boss above them, creating a repetitive and uninspired formula. The directing feels amateurish and low-rent, failing to bring any sense of coherence to the chaotic narrative.
Perhaps the only positive aspect of "Retirement Plan" is its unintentional promotion of the Cayman Islands. The film features scenes of gratuitous violence in broad daylight, all set against the backdrop of this picturesque location. It's as if the movie is saying, "Come to the Cayman Islands! Commit murder! No one cares! Armie Hammer is your real estate agent!"
In the end, "The Retirement Plan" is a forgettable and poorly executed film that does a disservice to the talents of its cast, especially Nicolas Cage. It's a disjointed mess that leaves viewers longing for a more coherent and engaging cinematic experience.
The Retirement Plan
In Theaters Everywhere
